What had seemed like a calm, pleasant outing suddenly became much more challenging. The wind picked up, the waves became more noticeable, and every stroke forward felt like work. We would paddle hard, make a little progress, and then pause for a moment to catch our breath or adjust our direction. Almost immediately, the wind would push us backward, carrying us right back to where we started.

The experience reminded me how often life can feel the same way.

There are seasons when we are working hard to move forward—to build healthier habits, strengthen relationships, heal from old wounds, deepen our faith, or pursue meaningful goals. We put in the effort, we do the work. We may even make progress. Then we pause long enough to look around and realize we don’t seem nearly as far along as we thought we should be.

Sometimes it can feel as though we’re moving backward despite our best efforts.

What struck me while we were kayaking was that the lack of progress wasn’t a reflection of a lack of effort. We weren’t lazy. We weren’t paddling incorrectly. We were simply facing forces that made forward movement more difficult.

I think many of us are quick to assume that if we’re struggling, we must not be trying hard enough. But often there are headwinds we fail to account for—stress, grief, burnout, uncertainty, chronic pressure, difficult relationships, or circumstances beyond our control. I could easily add to the list of things that can get in the way of forward momentum! These forces can make even small steps forward require tremendous energy.

The solution wasn’t to paddle harder forever. We had to learn to work with the conditions, adjust our expectations, and celebrate the progress we were making, even if it felt slower than we had hoped.

For a while, we kept trying to make it further out into the lake. But eventually, we stopped fighting it. We let ourselves drift back into the inlet where the water was calmer, quieter, and honestly, much more enjoyable.

And that’s where the lesson found me.

So often, we’re taught that perseverance means pushing harder. If something is difficult, we assume the answer is more effort, more determination, more grit. Sometimes that’s true. But sometimes wisdom looks different.

Sometimes wisdom is recognizing that the conditions aren’t right.

Sometimes it’s acknowledging that what we’re fighting against is draining more energy than the outcome is worth in that moment.

And sometimes it’s giving ourselves permission to return to calmer waters without labeling it as failure.

As a therapist, I see this often. People push themselves through exhaustion, force progress before they’re ready, or interpret every retreat as weakness. But not every step back is avoidance. Sometimes it’s recovery. Sometimes it’s discernment. Sometimes it’s simply recognizing our limits and choosing to honor them.

The goal of our kayaking trip wasn’t to conquer the lake. The goal was to spend time together and enjoy the experience. Ironically, we found more joy in the sheltered inlet than we did battling the wind in the open water.

That doesn’t mean we gave up.

As we floated back, we agreed we’d try again another day. Maybe when the wind was calmer. Maybe with a little more experience. Maybe under different conditions.

The important part is that we didn’t decide the lake was impossible. We simply decided that today wasn’t the day.

Not every challenge has to be overcome immediately. Not every goal has to be accomplished on the original timeline. There are seasons for pushing forward and seasons for pulling back. There are moments to persevere and moments to rest.

Choosing calmer waters today doesn’t mean you’ll never venture back into the open lake.

Sometimes it simply means you’re trusting that another opportunity will come.

And when it does, you’ll be ready to paddle again.

💜

✨Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband, Varren! ✨